I Fought the Lawn and the Lawn Won

This evening, when the sun was beginning to set and it was finally cooling down, I went out to cut the lawn. Unfortunately, we only had the push mower at our disposal, so that's what I had to use. As I surveyed the yard, I determined the back yard was in much greater need of a trim than the front yard, so I decided to start there.

I began by mowing the corners and the edges. Then I made long sweeping passes in a circular motion. After the first two sweeps, I giggled at myself thinking I was driving in circles just like Danika Patrick in NASCAR. However, by the fourth sweep, I was quite winded and readily admitted that other than having dark hair and going in a circular motion, I was nothing like Danika Patrick. By the fifth sweep, I had to stop and catch my breath.

You know when you begin to hyperventilate and you start feeling like your head and extremities are kind of "sparkly"? I had that in spades. I looked out over my progress, seeing a mass of tall-ish grass in the middle of our yard. I wondered if I could just leave the yard as it was and tell the kids I did it on purpose so they could play a game.

After resting long enough to have the sparkles stop, I got up and started again. After three sweeps, the circles were getting smaller. But it really wasn't getting the job done fast enough. At that point I started dreaming of having a contractor come out and dig up the whole back yard, pave it and paint it green.

Then on the next pass, I quit breathing again. Oh my gosh, this was the most grueling thing I had done in forever.

I had a brain storm. Forget the YMCA membership. Forget the exercise videos. I could be a trainer. Then, I could charge people to come for a "work out" and pay me to cut my grass.

When it was done, I was glad to have it look so nice. I was a little discouraged because I knew that next week, I would have to start all over again. And I didn't even get to the front yard yet.

Never have I been so grateful for a shower. I put on my comfy pj's and climbed into bed. I took some ibuprofen because I know I'm going to feel like death-warmed over tomorrow. And I know I'll have to finish the front yard, too...

...Unless I can talk hubby into paving the yard for me... Hey, you never know...

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