Wednesday, January 12, 2011

"Politically Corect" is the Anti-Snark

Free twitter badgeImage via WikipediaDear Reader,

Let me be absolutely, perfectly, 100% clear: I LOVE my kids, my husband, my family, my friends, my life. I am so very, very blessed.

However, I am human. And I have some very, very human moments when I get frustrated with one, some or all of my blessings and have to rant a little to blow off some steam.

For the last several years, I have used blogging, Twitter and Facebook as my ways to vent and let go of my steam. It has been mutually fulfilling and cathartic to be snarky, sarcastic and sometimes borderline caustic to spout off.

BUT (and this is a big but) I am (sadly) going to have to pull in the reigns to my snarkiness, tone down some of my sarcasm and completely curtail anything that could smack of being caustic.

Evidently in some circles my cathartic spouting is considered to be un-PC (Politically Correct).

And, in fact, some people even believe my sarcastic wit to be the gospel truth. For example, if I say I'm going to duck tape my children to the mail box, they would believe that. (Silly, silly people. If "they" knew me at all, they would know that I would NEVER, EVER hurt my children physically or verbally. So instead, I grouch about them. That way we all laugh instead of being ill.)

Anyway, back to the subject: I will be working hard to make sure all my public comments, essays, rants, or otherwise, are completely PC. My blog posts, my Twitter posts and my Facebook posts will be written as though the very most discriminating viewer will be scrutinizing my every word.

And I promise to still try to be light and fun to read.

Just know how hard I will be fighting my inner-snark to keep her down.

Stay posted & wish me luck...

Sincerely,
MommyBarbie

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Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Snow Day with the "Naked Brothers Band"

Rock University Presents: The Naked Brothers B...Image via WikipediaEver heard of the "Naked Brothers Band"? If not, consider yourself lucky. Not that it's bad, per se. Just that it's taken over our day.

This snow day has consisted of back-to-back episodes of watching pre-teen, angst-ridden kids chasing each other around and trying to sing. (Think "Hannah Montana," but with nine year old boys.)

Needless to say, I'm rethinking my excitement over the whole snow day thing. But my kids? Oh my goodness- they are completely mesmerized.

Maybe it's the idea that anyone can be "famous". Or it's that marginal talent (coupled with famous parents) can make a "rock band". Or maybe it's just that there's nothing else on (that the kids are allowed to watch). But my kids are thrilled.

Me? My migraine from last night is not helped by this at all. I actually had to take an extra Exedrin.

What the kids don't know is that in a few minutes, the TV is going to go "to sleep" and they are going to read or do something more constructive than watching the "Naked Brothers Band" episodes back-to-back.

Now. For the big-time, serious question of the day: Will they be out for a snow day tomorrow, too?

I'm okay with it...  as long as we run out of "Naked Brothers Band" episodes before tomorrow!
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Monday, January 10, 2011

SNOW DAYS!

Southern SnowImage by J Crow via FlickrWhat is it about snow days that seem so fabulous? Is it the fact that it's (relatively) unexpected? Is it the fact that it effectively clears your schedule for the day- without any work on your part? Maybe it's a little of both.

Last night (after making our obligatory run to Walmart for bread, milk and eggs: required sustenance for Southern Winter snow) we went to bed to a crisp, clear sky, the kids praying for a miraculous twelve feet of snow. While the inches may have fallen somewhat short, we did get snow, and it did achieve the desired result: school was closed.

Then, miracle of miracles, this afternoon it was announced that school is closed again tomorrow. The kids were delirious with joy. I expected open weeping.

I, too, am excited for another snow day. I have several assignments for school I'm trying to get the jump on. So I'm actually trying to be somewhat productive with my time- while admitting I have also enjoyed staying in yoga pants and a sweatshirt all day.

If tomorrow it is announced that we will be out again on Wednesday, it may begin to lose its charm, as cabin fever sets in and the kids look for ways to bug the snot out of me. That's when I start threatening things like duck-taping them to the mailbox (in warm clothing, of course) until their father gets home.

But for today, and hopefully tomorrow, we will enjoy the beauty of the snow- along with the sheer joy of the snow day. My alarm is NOT set. And I have fresh yoga pants and sweatshirt ready to wear
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Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy 2011!

Times Square New Years CrowdImage by J. Griffin Stewart via FlickrWow, where did 2010 go? I swear it just started 10 minutes ago.

Some of our highlights of 2010:

  1. Franzi, our German exchange student, left (We miss her terribly)
  2. My sister-in-law's wedding
  3. Our church celebrated it's 40th birthday
  4. My grandmother's 95th birthday
  5. Connor's tonsils came out
  6. Hubby's deviated septum was un-deviated
  7. Kids all finished up school year strong
  8. Family beach trip
  9. Family cruise
  10. Kids in 8th, 5th & 3rd grade
  11. Connor's 8th grade football season
  12. Courtney takes up the trumpet
  13. Courtney's sewing skills
  14. Caitlin's ability to keep from getting sick
  15. I got invited into the Master's program for Teaching at Trevecca (will start next week)
  16. Had a fabulous Wii Dance competition. Naturally, the kids won!
  17. Christmas with family & cousins!
  18. Hubby got a cpap machine and now doesn't snore (Yipee!)
  19. Tigger (the cat) is Pet of the Year
  20. Dixie (the dog) is not
Resolutions for 2011:

Well, pretty much the standard stuff: You know, lose weight, save money, work smarter not harder, exercise, and generally be a better person.

This blog will let you know if and when I succeed. And you can laugh along with me as I chronicle my short-comings.

Here's hopes for you & yours to have a wonderful, blessed 2011.
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Thursday, December 9, 2010

Dye-ing to be Young

Dying hairImage by rightsandwrongs via FlickrNot too very long ago it seemed like folks aged faster. For example, my grandmother's photos of her at 40 look like someone today who is 65.

And men didn't fare much better. My own family tree boasts at least one or two men who had the ever-attractive "comb over," which eventually turned into the tragic "wrap-around."

Today, however, while some men go with "Hair Club for Men," even more go for the shaved head. Baldness has become a wide-spread phenomenon that some men should just not embrace. Either because their heads are in some unfortunate shape, or because their cheeks are wider than the top of their head, some men (and I know you've seen them) do themselves no favors by choosing to combat aging and hair loss by shaving their heads.

For the men who do look nice in the "Mr. Clean" look, the crisp look of a clean-shaven head can keep them from looking like they are aging quite so rapidly. Whereas, the olden days of trying to tease out the remaining hair into some kind of shape to resemble a full head of hair just screamed "old man" and really looked more like road kill than hair.

Women in my grandmother's day simply went gray. Hair dye was not nearly as wide-spread, and the colors available (especially in the drug store) were pretty heinous. So, most graying women would cut their hair short and coif it into some kind of curled helmet at the beauty salon. The style, along with the horn-rimmed glasses, said "aging" in big, red letters.

Enter in the ad campaigns by the beauty manufacturers: "I'm not growing old gracefully; I'm fighting it every step of the way." Suddenly, women have morphed into endless twenty-year-old's.

Hair dye has evolved into an entire science and industry of its own. Skin care has transformed wrinkles into smooth-as-a-baby's-butt skin. And whatever can't be treated chemically, can be nipped and tucked by a quick surgery.

Hair dressers around the world rejoiced at the turn of events. They were making money hand-over-fist with the advent of the perm. Then, women went "natural," and the perm went the way of the "comb over."

When the fountain of eternal youth was heralded to come from a little bottle of hair dye, the hair stylists sighed with relief, then jumped for joy. Then when highlights and lowlights, straighteners, blow-outs, and all the other numerous styling options dawned upon the horizon, hair styling was, once again, back in the proverbial "black".

I, myself, have succumb to the bi-monthly visit to my magician (aka my hair stylist) to erase the years by covering the gray. And I suspect I will continue to do so.

The result of all of these new hair styling/hair dying techniques (along with some significant wardrobe improvements) is that at 40, today's men and women look at least 10 years younger than our ancestors.

I'm hoping this trend continues. That way, when I'm 50, I'll look 20 years younger (comparatively). I mean look at Hollywood: Raquel Welch looks like she's in her 40's. (She's not in her 40's.) Shania Twain is "hot", even though she's well over 30, and a mom.

Yesterday's Hollywood starlett had to be in her 20's to be the "it" girl. Today's starlett can play a grandmother and still be considered "hot" for her age.

As I write this, I'm having to "arrange" my hair to cover my very gray roots. My hair dresser has fussed at me and begged me not to tell anyone she's my stylist until I get them fixed. (Can't say I blame her. BTW, Lindsay, I'm coming to see you Dec 17th!)

So, when you see me Dec 18th, be prepared to be wowed by a very youthful looking mother. In fact, you will probably think I look like I'm closer to my daughter's age... Okay, maybe not quite that young. But I will definitely look better.  And I will definitely look younger!

Hair dye is definitely a miracle worker for at least 90% of the American population of women (my guess). My prediction is that this will continue and improve. And we will all continue to look younger than our predecessors.  This... makes me happy.... :-)
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