Thank You... I Think...

Image by woodleywonderworks via FlickrIn my lifetime I have received compliments. And, of course, I enjoy receiving them.

However, there are some that I could have done without. Thus, I have a list of my top "un-compliment" compliments. And, as luck would have it, I will now share them with you:

1. This one started out fairly nicely:
                 Them:"You've lost weight."
                     Me: "Thank you."
                  Them: "How did you do it?"
                     Me: "Well, I'm pregnant. And I've been very, very sick the first trimester."
                   Them: "Oh. Well..." (And here's where it goes bad.) "That's too bad that you're
                               pregnant... You really look good having lost weight."
      Too stunned, to speak, I merely smiled and walked away...

2.  The ultimate back-handed compliment:
                 Them: "You look great."
                      Me: "Thanks."
                  Them: "I mean, you lost A LOOOOOOTTTTT of weight."
                      Me:  "Um... Thanks?????"

3.  Them: "You have great teeth. They are so white."
             (Sounds okay on the surface, right?
              But what you should know is that he meant that as a romantic gesture.)

4. Weirdest ever:
     Them: "You are an excellent cook. How do you get your chicken so white?"
       Me: "Um... I boil it???"
      Them: "Huh..."

5.  Them: "You aren't THAT fat..."  (Need I say more?)

6.  Them: "You're hair is awesome."
       Me:  "Thank you.
     Them: "Is it really that thin, or do you have it specially cut that way?"
       Me:  "Oh, no, Um..."

As you can see, I've had lots of opportunity to feel good about myself in a bad way. I will keep the list updated as I receive more...

Hopefully it will be a while...

Zingers & Gotcha's

Image via WikipediaQuestion: Just because you CAN say something, does that really mean you SHOULD say something???

Answer: Sure- if you're on television.

However, if you live in the real world, sometimes it behooves you, as an adult, to be the better person and shut your trap.

On television and in movies, characters rip off one liners that verbally push the other person into a little corner. We celebrate the victory of the winner. We laugh at the wit and are impressed by the quickness of our new "hero."

We laughingly utter, "I can't believe they actually said that," as we shake our heads and grin.

We think, "I would've added ________," imagining our our own verbal sparring skills, and all the sarcastic and caustic ways we would finish off the scene.

On television and in the movie, the scene fades to black, and we imagine the whole issue has been put to rest and forgotten about.

HOWEVER, in REAL LIFE, the camera doesn't turn off. If we are the recipient of a verbal "throw down," our emotions have been turned over, turned on and are ready for round two.

Would it sound more "cool" to battle it out? Sure. Would it "feel" better to throw a great big temper tantrum and roll around on the floor, then congratulate ourselves for really "getting" the other guy? You betcha'.

Sometimes being a grown up stinks. Sometimes being the better person feels like you're actually being a better doormat.

But I don't know that life is always about feeling "triumphant".

I think it's more about the relationships we maintain and the way we treat other people.

The world tells us how cool it is to be the big shot. Christ tells us to love our neighbor.

Often I have thought, "Well, is it cheating if I love my neighbor SO much that his head just accidentally pops off?"

That would make me feel better- for the moment. But then again- life doesn't stop at the end of a conversation. So I have to think about what comes next. What is my next encounter going to be like?

Holding my tongue stinks. Struggling to hold my tongue makes me tired.

But if the ultimate goal is to effectively communicate with people to our mutual advantage- sometimes that's what I have to do.

In fact, I still have to resolve whatever issue it is I had with the person. But I have to do it in a mature, non-name-calling way.

Wish more people outside of my television set and off of my movie screen felt the same way.

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Top 10 Fashion Tips By Me

Image by Brave New Films via Flickr
As the season begins to change, I'm beginning to see the new fashions come out, along with all the people who are wearing them. I thought this might be a good time to share my all-time Top 10 Fashion Tips By Me (Kristi: aka MommyBarbie). Believe me when I say, I try to take my own advice, and I do not think I am better than anyone else. I prefer to think of these more as "common sense," which, obviously, some people are sorely lacking. (Just saying.)


Here we go...


10. Moms who try to make their children (especially boys) wear jumpers and peter pan collars when the child is over four feet tall, should lose custody of the child.



9.  On the flip side of the coin, parents who allow their children to look "sexy" are not allowed to be surprised when their child takes on not-so-admirable behaviors (like running with a questionable crowd, having sex, and other such things).


8.  If you have a "muffin top" when you try to wear low-rise pants/shorts/jeans- please don't wear them.
 7.  Outfits that look really "sexy" on television and in the movies end up looking "trashy" and "sleazy" when a soccer mom tries to wear it while driving her mini van.



6.  "Sensible shoes" may feel great- but they can totally destroy even the most beautiful, well put-together outfit.


5.  Just because a piece of clothing comes in anything over a size 4 doesn't mean it should be worn by any of us who are slightly/some/much/lots larger.



4.  A "jury of your peers" will never convict a woman for killing a whiny, skinny woman for complaining that she "just can't gain weight" and "nothing looks good" on her.


3.  Just because some of the 80's fashions are back in style, does not mean you can wear the clothes you actually wore in the 80's.



2.  When someone says, "I mean this in the nicest way, but" or "I don't mean to sound mean, but," you are a "fashion don't".



1.  Just because something is "in style" doesn't mean YOU should wear it.



I'm sure I'm missing some. And some may have other tips that they feel should replace the one(s) I have listed. But I think we can all agree, this is at least a very good start.

To any who are offended by my list, I would contend that, like Shakespeare says, "Me thinks thou dost protest too much." (In other words- if it hits too close to home, maybe you're reluctant to admit you are a "fashion don't".)

My suggestion? Find a friend and ask them to be honest. If you still aren't sure, post a picture on Facebook. If you don't feel comfortable posting a picture, then you shouldn't wear it. (Just saying.)


Ciao for now...

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Boop Boop Be Doo

Image via WikipediaAll of my children are very creative. My eldest can make up an entire civilization and have the people/creatures live and battle. He is also an excellent artist that can draw characters to rival any comic book.

My middle child loves to make more domestic creations. She is more at home with a cookbook and a sewing pattern than many adults I know. And she has a musical ear that lets her hum beautiful melodies made up on the spot.

My youngest is still figuring it all out. She is terribly creative. But she's also impulsive. So most of her creations have to be completed in one sitting or else she loses interest. She also is very open to suggestion from movies, books, friends and television.

Her current obsession is Betty Boop. I was floored when she announced one day she wanted to redecorate her room all in Betty Boop. I had no idea she even knew who Betty Boop was. Then I discovered that an admired counselor from summer camp was a huge fan. Now almost all of my youngest daughter's projects are Betty Boop related (unless they are Justin Bieber related, which is another on-going obsession).

This morning she brought me a sock puppet. It was an old white sock (well, it was more like an earthy white, since it was an old sock) she had stuffed with tissue paper. She had cinched the top with a rubber band and stuck strings of old white yarn underneath to make hair. Then she found an old lip gloss container in the shape (and approximate size) of lips, which she secured with a rubber band.

When she presented this "puppet" to me, she proudly announced, "Momma, this is Betty Boop."

Then she asked if I would help her sew on some buttons for her eyes. I explained that it would have to be after school, since it was almost time to go. Amazingly enough, she was okay with that plan.

She followed me around with her "puppet" in hand, chattering away about the clothes she would make for it and so on. I listened and eyed the pitiful thing, wondering if there was any way to spruce it up a bit.

Then, my precious daughter said, "I would put arms on it, but then it would just look silly."

I had to bite the inside of my cheek very hard and turn away to keep from laughing and hurting her feelings. This poor sock monster looks more like a dog toy that the dog has already chewed and thrown aside. But in her mind, it was, is and will be Betty Boop.

Thank goodness for Imagination. It is, after all, the Mother of Invention.

And, I know one day her sock monsters- er, I mean, sock puppets- will be a thing of the past, and I will miss them.

But for this morning, and for now, Betty Boop's creator is probably busily rolling over in their grave at the likes of this creation. And I got a good laugh to start my day.

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