Soapbox: the Un-tied States of America

Image by Getty Images via @daylifeSo yesterday my hubby and I were trying to moonwalk because we had heard the news that Osama Bin Laden was dead. -Not that we rejoice in anyone's death. We were rejoicing at the end of the tyranny exacted by this particular man.

Of course we weren't naive enough to believe he didn't have some protoge' waiting in the wings to continue his work, and possibly even be worse (*shutter*). But it was still a day we had wondered if we would ever actually see.

Facebook & Twitter jolted to life, heralding the news that Osama Bin Laden was dead. The President and the Former President congratulated each other on each of their parts to make that day possible. And Lee Greenwood's career was resurrected once more with every radio station in America playing "I'm Proud to be an American."

And then... The "talking heads" chimed in.

Suddenly, what seemed like a celebration turned into a very ugly civil war. The Conservatives and the Liberals were baring their teeth at each other to show who was the Alpha Dog. And every bit of the hatred once reserved for Osama Bin Laden now turned inwards toward each other.

Americans who once actually believed the words that we were "one nation under God" were now rather gun-shy to utter those words. "Isn't that rather politically incorrect?"

People who saw strangers have differing opinions from their own slandered the other opinion along with the other person. We felt the need so strongly to be "right" that it didn't matter if we really "made sense," because the Talking Heads could put the correct spin on any opinion to make it sound "right."

And suddenly, I wondered: What have we become? Who are we?

Are we really a nation with a cause and a purpose? Or are we really just a bunch of whiny babies who are only in it for what we, personally, can get out of it?

What happened to our integrity? Our honor?

If a war was waged on US soil, would we be able to counter attack? Or would we be too busy being worried about who would lead the charge?

The fact is, the United States of America has always been a "melting pot" of ideas as varied as the fish in the sea. But, we have always come together under the banner of our flag and our freedom.

I now wonder if that could be the case any more? Would we be able to put aside our opinions and our differences in the name of the United States of America? Or are our individual egos too big to fit under one banner anymore? Has our sense of entitlement grown to such an epic proportion we don't know how to stand up for our fellow man (or woman)?

Today our country is completely polarized by politics, religion and entitlement. People see no middle ground. The rough and tumble promise of "proud Americans" has boiled down to "proud individuals." We fight for our personal rights, but not the rights of our neighbor-- unless it can bring fame, wealth or both.

I am glad to see one bad guy out of the picture today. However, I would love nothing more than to see a truly United States of America, one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

I would love to see us all just get over ourselves, our political parties, our religious persuasions, our lifestyle choices and our unspoken class system and just get along!

Related articles

• Osama Bin Laden Announced Dead (socyberty.com)
• Remarks by the President on Osama Bin Laden (njlawfirm.wordpress.com)

Mourning the Divorce of a Friend

In what has become an all-too-familiar theme in life, I found out another friend of mine is getting a divorce. As is common in these situations, I had no idea and was taken totally off-guard. Not that all my friends have to keep me in the loop of their most private details, but you would think I would have some sort of clue, right?

I know all relationships have their ups & downs. Goodness knows hubby and I have had our share of both. But what, at the end of the day, is the "final straw" that makes a relationship die? It's a lot of hard work to keep a relationship afloat. But, especially when there are children, divorced parents still have to maintain some kind of relationship with their ex-spouse. That can't be easy. And there is a considerable amount of work that has to go into dividing up a household. Where do you even begin? And how do people afford to be divorced? We seem to barely be able to afford to work together toward the budget!

In my experience, the friends on whom I've always kept one eye, believing that I might very well expect a divorce announcement at any time, continue on through the rough patches and stay together. Fighting and disagreement seem to be an assumed cue for couples who are in trouble. Even my children become tense and paranoid when hubby and I share cross words. But fights don't necessarily earmark the divorces I've witnessed. In fact, in several cases, the couples whom I have believed to be strong, virtually impenetrable fortresses are the ones who have crumbled with no apparent warning.

How do you divorce-proof your marriage? Well, I am certainly no expert. But I'll tell you the main thing that I've heard from the people who I know who have gotten divorced: "We quit making each other a priority."

From there, they've "fallen out of love," "fallen in love with someone else," "worked too much," "quit talking to each other," "just weren't the same people we were when we got married."  The last one, to me, is a given. Hubby and I have been married seventeen years, and we dated for five before that. Neither of us are the same people we were twenty-two years ago (thank goodness!). We are certainly not infallible, either. But he and I have the same priorities: 1) God, 2) Each Other, 3) Our Children, 4) the rest of the world. (If he ever put the children in danger in any way, or put something else in front of them, I would have something to say about that.)

Death is sorrowful. The death of a relationship through divorce is disheartening and sad. I continue, as always, to keep my friends in my thoughts and prayers as they make their way during this difficult transition in their lives. I pray they come through happier and healthier on the other side. And I use this as a reminder to myself and my spouse that "but for the grace of God, there go I."

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• Dealing with a divorce that's not your own (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
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