Monday, June 13, 2011

Zingers & Gotcha's

Chocolate ZingersImage via WikipediaQuestion: Just because you CAN say something, does that really mean you SHOULD say something???

Answer: Sure- if you're on television.

However, if you live in the real world, sometimes it behooves you, as an adult, to be the better person and shut your trap.

On television and in movies, characters rip off one liners that verbally push the other person into a little corner. We celebrate the victory of the winner. We laugh at the wit and are impressed by the quickness of our new "hero."

We laughingly utter, "I can't believe they actually said that," as we shake our heads and grin.

We think, "I would've added ________," imagining our our own verbal sparring skills, and all the sarcastic and caustic ways we would finish off the scene.

On television and in the movie, the scene fades to black, and we imagine the whole issue has been put to rest and forgotten about.

HOWEVER, in REAL LIFE, the camera doesn't turn off. If we are the recipient of a verbal "throw down," our emotions have been turned over, turned on and are ready for round two.

Would it sound more "cool" to battle it out? Sure. Would it "feel" better to throw a great big temper tantrum and roll around on the floor, then congratulate ourselves for really "getting" the other guy? You betcha'.

Sometimes being a grown up stinks. Sometimes being the better person feels like you're actually being a better doormat.

But I don't know that life is always about feeling "triumphant".

I think it's more about the relationships we maintain and the way we treat other people.

The world tells us how cool it is to be the big shot. Christ tells us to love our neighbor.

Often I have thought, "Well, is it cheating if I love my neighbor SO much that his head just accidentally pops off?"

That would make me feel better- for the moment. But then again- life doesn't stop at the end of a conversation. So I have to think about what comes next. What is my next encounter going to be like?

Holding my tongue stinks. Struggling to hold my tongue makes me tired.

But if the ultimate goal is to effectively communicate with people to our mutual advantage- sometimes that's what I have to do.

In fact, I still have to resolve whatever issue it is I had with the person. But I have to do it in a mature, non-name-calling way.

Wish more people outside of my television set and off of my movie screen felt the same way.
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