"Hee Haw" Happens

My children have never experienced "Hee Haw," which aired on television when I was younger. We watched it as a family and laughed. However, it was that country bumpkin stereotype that also pushed me out of the entire southern part of the United States when I was old enough to go.

I eventually returned, and was very glad to be here. I have even developed a bit of a fondness for the "Hee Haw" stereotype. Of course, it's easy to love now that there is no "Hee Haw" to perpetuate it.

One of the skits Glen Campbell and the gang would do regularly was a song that went "Doom, Despair and Agony on Me." Yesterday I could relate all too well.

I had a lot going on at work. Too much really. But it's the end of the month and a holiday weekend, so a couple of things turned into a lot of things fast!

We have also had my van in Murfreesboro (about 45 minutes away) for the last several days getting a tune up. A friend of hubby's brother works at Nissan and was able to get our car back to better-than-new. But it meant hubby and I had to share a car for the week.

After I got my work under some kind of control I went to go pick up my kids from school in hubby's car. As I sat in the Middle School/High School pick up line, my car stalled and wouldn't start back up.

I had to get out of the car and wave people around me while my kids slunk down far into their seats certain they would die of embarrassment. I tried calling hubby at work to get his take on what was going on with the car. I knew he couldn't really help or come get me; I had his car.

But I couldn't find hubby anywhere. Finally, I switched tactics and called my mom. She came out to rescue me. By this time there was no one left at school besides me and the kids.

Hubby had finally called back and suggested that my battery was dead. So Mom and I were going to jump start it from her battery. Only neither of us had ever actually done that.

My kids were beyond bored and hot by this time. And their whining earned them a snappy warning from me. I hate having to correct my kids in front of my parents. I know they understand more than anyone. But I still always feel like I'm not as good of a parent as they are, and surely they know some strategy or technique that can get the kids to do exactly as they want them to, and make it sound fun in the process.

Anyway, Mom and I gingerly put red on each positive sign on the batteries and black on each negative and started the car. A few moments later we had my car going. Whew! Now we just had to get it to Wal-Mart without it dying again. So I drove with no air, no radio, no anything that would pull from that battery.

The auto mechanic at Wal-Mart said my battery was completely past being able to be recharged. And he said they could change it. Of course, it was going to be another $100. Which we really didn't have. Since we were servicing our other car. And it's the end of the school year with teacher gifts. And we have eight birthday gifts to get. And I had to put a deposit down for the kids' camps for this summer.

But, we bit the bullet. And finally we had the car back.

Finally, I began to breathe.

I know there are much worse/more serious/more dangerous situations that people have every single minute of every single day. But all my little situations seemed to pile up all at once in the afternoon heat in the car rider line at school.

I wanted nothing more than to throw a great big temper tantrum followed immediately by a Texas-sized glass of red wine and then a pitcher of margaritas. Instead, I took deep breaths and tried to imagine myself on a beautiful, deserted beach with nothing but the sound of the ocean and the late afternoon sun.

As the day began to resolve itself, I found myself humming, "Doom, Despair and Agony on Me... If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all..."

"Hee Haw" might be gone, but it is not forgotten. It helped lighten my mood and even smile a little. I tried explaining it to the kids. But I guess it's really something that just has to be experienced.

But to all of you who remember, I send a warm "Hee Haw" sa-lute! And I wish ya'll a jim-dandy day! Now come on back, you hear?