I'm Weird

Image by elana's pantry via FlickrI'm weird.

I grew up in an a-typical American family: My father and mother married, then had children. They have never divorced. I rarely see them disagree. And we liked each other.

My brother nor I did drugs or ran with the wrong crowd (Okay, that last bit could be challenged, depending on who you talk to LOL). We both made good grades and had jobs in High School. Each of us married our spouses, then had children. Each of us are gainfully employed, and have happy lives.

I also like my family, and my husband's family. I don't feel like I'm discriminated against. I don't feel like the world owes me anything, or the government is out to get me. But I'm not on any kind of medication (prescription or illegal) that makes me ingenuously happy, either. I don't have a vice that is any more egregious than diet coke. I really don't drink very often. I don't smoke.

My children don't have any disabilities (other than the fact that we are their parents LOL). They are polite, well-mannered children. They get good grades and enjoy their family.

We don't "tangle" with the law. We don't have any "Oprah-worthy" events in our lives. We would never be good material for a reality show.

We go to church and have strong beliefs. But we practice tolerance and loving our neighbors.

Basically, we are "plain vanilla" in a "thirty-one flavors" kind of society. And I personally could not be happier to be plain.

The funny thing is, while diversity is promoted in the media, and abnormality is celebrated as what is the true "norm," ours is the life people want.  Pop star calamities are glitzy and make headlines. And standing up to admit our failures and shortcomings to the world is so common, it's almost passe'.

But at the end of the day, most people would rather have had a satisfying, fulfilling day of work, and come home to a loving family and a warm home.

So, yes, I'm weird. And this Thanksgiving, I give thanks to God that He made me that way. I am happy and content... and weird.

May you all have a plain, weird Thanksgiving, too!

Related articles

• Elizabeth Marquardt: Why Your "Good Enough" Marriage Is Good for Your Kids (huffingtonpost.com)
• "Four in 10 say marriage is becoming obsolete" and related posts (online.worldmag.com)
• Should Parents Let Their Kids Act "Weird?" [Odd Kid Out] (jezebel.com)

Mourning the Divorce of a Friend

In what has become an all-too-familiar theme in life, I found out another friend of mine is getting a divorce. As is common in these situations, I had no idea and was taken totally off-guard. Not that all my friends have to keep me in the loop of their most private details, but you would think I would have some sort of clue, right?

I know all relationships have their ups & downs. Goodness knows hubby and I have had our share of both. But what, at the end of the day, is the "final straw" that makes a relationship die? It's a lot of hard work to keep a relationship afloat. But, especially when there are children, divorced parents still have to maintain some kind of relationship with their ex-spouse. That can't be easy. And there is a considerable amount of work that has to go into dividing up a household. Where do you even begin? And how do people afford to be divorced? We seem to barely be able to afford to work together toward the budget!

In my experience, the friends on whom I've always kept one eye, believing that I might very well expect a divorce announcement at any time, continue on through the rough patches and stay together. Fighting and disagreement seem to be an assumed cue for couples who are in trouble. Even my children become tense and paranoid when hubby and I share cross words. But fights don't necessarily earmark the divorces I've witnessed. In fact, in several cases, the couples whom I have believed to be strong, virtually impenetrable fortresses are the ones who have crumbled with no apparent warning.

How do you divorce-proof your marriage? Well, I am certainly no expert. But I'll tell you the main thing that I've heard from the people who I know who have gotten divorced: "We quit making each other a priority."

From there, they've "fallen out of love," "fallen in love with someone else," "worked too much," "quit talking to each other," "just weren't the same people we were when we got married."  The last one, to me, is a given. Hubby and I have been married seventeen years, and we dated for five before that. Neither of us are the same people we were twenty-two years ago (thank goodness!). We are certainly not infallible, either. But he and I have the same priorities: 1) God, 2) Each Other, 3) Our Children, 4) the rest of the world. (If he ever put the children in danger in any way, or put something else in front of them, I would have something to say about that.)

Death is sorrowful. The death of a relationship through divorce is disheartening and sad. I continue, as always, to keep my friends in my thoughts and prayers as they make their way during this difficult transition in their lives. I pray they come through happier and healthier on the other side. And I use this as a reminder to myself and my spouse that "but for the grace of God, there go I."

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• Dealing with a divorce that's not your own (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
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