The Box Lied

I swear that on the box, it showed a woman with BROWN hair. I don't know if that was just the "suggested manufacturers color" or what. But it was definitely brown.

Ten minutes on my head did NOT make my hair brown. It was BLACK.

I'd like to think I look like the movie stars of yesteryear, like Liz Taylor. Her hair was black as coal and looked beautiful.

However, I think my hair looks more "goth". All I'm lacking is the black eye-liner, lipstick, fingernail polish and spiked dog collar.

My hair was dark brown, so I tried to get a dark brown color to cover my gray (which had begun taking over my head like kudzu). I was terribly unsuccessful in my endeavors, and I am still shocked every time I catch my reflection in the mirror.

My son, honestly trying to be helpful said, "Well, mom, maybe your hair really was black before; It just looked like it was lighter because of all the gray." (Thanks, sweetie.)

The good news is that it looks a little bit thicker and shinier. The bad news is that in a matter of a few weeks I'm going to have lighter roots. great.

I guess I should suck it up and pay for a professional to color my hair. But I have this sad, inexplicable hope when I go down the coloring aisle at Wal-Mart. And suddenly, like the Great Zohan, I feel the need to do it all by myself.

Also, I'm afraid if I make the huge splurge and see what an actual trained, licensed hair stylest could do to my hair, I might be "hooked". And I, frankly, just don't have that kind of budget.

I've seen friends spend upwards of $80+ for a hair coloring. Then they have to go back once every six weeks or so. I can only imagine trying to explain that to our household budget manager. "Honey, I know you spend approximately $10 every two weeks on your hair. But I would like to spend about $60 a month on coloring, PLUS another $40 or so on a cut, PLUS another $35 or so on hair products. Then I plan on throwing it all under a baseball cap in the morning to take the kids to school."

I don't think I'll be posting any pictures of myself anytime soon. I'll just let you imagine how it looks. There will be a time I can laugh at this. Right now is not that time. When I'm laughing, then I'll think about posting pictures so you can laugh, too.

For now, I'll just look like a cross between Desperate Housewives and MTV Grunge Fest.