Go, Team!

There are some things that I am admittedly just too old to do. And yet, with the right provocation, some rules are made to be broken.

The most pointed example I currently have is the Parent's Cheerleading Squad at my daughters' competition cheer gym. I have absolutely no business being anything other than the equipment manager for such a team. However, my vbff was sneaky and signed my name on the list.

Last Thursday night I stood in a line with about nine other parents to learn the Parent's Cheer. I was the only one who could not do a cartwheel. Even the really big girl standing next to me could still do her back-handspring. (Albeit, VERY unattractive!!!!) My characteristically un-athleticism was on display for the whole world to see.

There was also a dance to learn. The parts where we jumped up and down did nothing for my self-esteem, watching my tummy jiggle and my hips spread out waaaaay too far. In a former life, otherwise known as Junior High, I was a pom-pon girl. I have retained my ability to keep time to a beat. But when the girl teaching the dance showed us how we were going to roll on our back, while kicking up our feet, I couldn't decide if I should laugh or cry.

All I could think was, "At least the really big girl jiggles more than I do." Okay, I know that's tacky AND catty. But my self-esteem really needed a little boost.

I did put my foot down when there was discussion about our matching hair bows. I may be wiggly, jiggly, uncoordinated, unlimber and generally unfit for being any kind of cheerleader. But I sure as heck won't be caught dead with a hair bow, to boot. Fortunately, general consensus was that a hair bow was not fitting for a Parent's Squad.

I'm hoping they'll at least put me in the very back. But since I'm just over five feet, the odds are not necessarily in my favor. I figure I'll definitely be a "base" in pyramids (the bottom that holds up the little girls in the air). And maybe, if I'm REALLY lucky, I'll break a foot or an ankle and be relegated back to "audience".

In the meantime, our next practice is this Thursday. I'll try not to embarrass myself too badly. But I really have no promises or even very high hopes of carrying that off. The best I can hope for is that I'll have some illness that causes fever and vomiting...

Go, team...