The Artist Formerly Known As...

I was reading up on my celebrity gossip on one of the home pages for either Yahoo! or Comcast or something. When low-and-behold: His Purple Majesty is turning 50!

I don't particularly think 50 is "old". But I'm having a real hard time reconciling the high-heeled, sex-pot zooming around on his motorcycle in "Purple Rain" being 50.

It was almost as unsettling as hearing that Foreigner's 2008 tour was being sponsored by (I kid you not) AARP. E-gads! Really???

The Pop Culture of your youth should stay forever young. Watching the Rolling Stones cripple across a stage these days just means they are old (and possibly high and/or drunk, too). Whereas Duran Duran pretty much just faded gracefully away, leaving behind memories of "Hungry Like a Wolf," and other such iconic hits.

Madonna has tried like hell to maintain her youthful image. However, the new video with Justin Timberlake paints her as more of a pedophile than a sex goddess. She should have stopped at Evita.

Demi Moore tried to freeze out Father Time by dating a much younger (hot) man: Ashton Kutcher. I don't know that either of them scored any points one way or the other for that match-up. But they do seem happy.

The kiss of death for any star is when you hear someone say, "They look GREAT! (for their age)" That's when you know that the botox and plastic surgery are not far behind.

No one really wants to be the matronly madam of Hollywood. No band wants to stage a come-back tour and hear people say, "Wow! I didn't even know you were still alive."

Prince was a huge part of my musical youth. From about sixth grade on through college, I loved his funky beat that just MADE you get up and dance. His shrieks, gyrations and high-heeled boots were clever disguises for his very short frame. And he somehow managed to record and promote just about every successful female artist during his hay day.

The fact that he's celebrating his 50th birthday is unsettling. It is just another reminder that I am getting older, too. When I listened to his music, I was young and unstoppable. At that age, fifty was about as close to death as I could imagine. Anyone who sang who was over 50, was relegated to "elevator music".

Now that I've matured (read: gotten older), I realize 50 is still very young and very vital. So why does it still sound so bad on Prince? I just can't imagine his big brown doe eyes with crow's feet! Or his mounds of curly black hair receding back from his forehead into some mutant Friar Tuck look. Or his costumes toned down so there aren't too many buttons for him to try to manage.

If he's more worried about his prostrate than his next single, what does that say about me? How long before I throw out a hip dancing to "1999"? Do I really want to hear a 50-year-old Prince singing some of the super-sexually-charged lyrics for which he became so famous?

I wish him the best. I hope he has many, many wonderful years ahead of him. He does, in fact, have a gift for finding and developing talent. While he was always a little temperamental, it could serve him well as he fights for his clients.

But, to me, he will always be behind a steel, purple guitar, dancing around on the stage and making our entire generation want to dance along with him. Happy Birthday, Prince. May you be forever young.