Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Mommy Barbie

On Facebook there is an application called, "Which Barbie are you?" My friends and I have amused ourselves with this for quite some time.

My quiz scores indicated that I was "Sorority Barbie." As a point of fact, I was in a sorority, and I still very much like to socialize with many different friends.

However, I find that even the Barbie aisle at the toy store has come to realize that Barbie takes on many personalities. Diva Barbie and Doctor Barbie are made from the same doll, but have different clothing and accessories.

I consider myself to be Mommy Barbie.

Mommy Barbie comes with children and (at least in my case) a husband. Accessories include a minivan with McDonald's french fries rolling around in the bottom, a large purse whose contents could win the jackpot on "Let's Make a Deal" (Yes, Monty, I DO have fingernail clippers, a banana, a Happy Meal toy and a half-eaten sucker!), a microwave that only works when Repairman Barbie is present at $150 an hour, and a family dog who can run outside for an hour and still pee on the carpet upon admittance into the house.

Mommy Barbie comes with no sick days. She has a kitchen with a rotating door, which is constantly pushing through hungry Pre-Teen Barbies, Little Barbies and Barbie Friends. She also comes with a vacuum, scrub brush and a washer/dryer combo.

Mommy Barbie has the unique feature of having a microchip implanted that allows her to keep up with the schedules of up to ten people at a time. Sometimes the processor goes down for maintenance, thus throwing the whole Barbie family into chaos.

Mommy Barbie comes with other outfits so that she can change into: Arts & Crafts Barbie, Shopping Barbie, Vacation Barbie, PTO Barbie, Part-Time Employee Barbie and PMS Barbie. (PMS Barbie outfit comes with an advisory for the Barbie family and red wine and chocolate.)

Needless to say, Mommy Barbie's greatest joy is her children. She actually revels in overseeing homework, dressing the kids for pictures, planning for play dates, and, especially, getting hugs.

Mommy Barbie is also painfully aware that her role as Mommy Barbie will not go on forever. There will be a day when she is transformed into Confidant/Friend Barbie for her children. And even Grandma Barbie. She will love and cherish those roles, as well.

But for now, Mommy Barbie is absolutely content just being who she is...

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