Friday, September 12, 2008

With This Ring...

I understand that everyone comes from their own set of circumstances, their own backgrounds. So I try really hard to be sensitive to things that might be upsetting or be "trigger buttons" for someone, and avoid them, if possible.

Hubby is very sentimental about some things. He tends to hold on to furniture because it reminds him of someone, despite the fact that the piece goes with nothing in the house and that it's taking up space. He takes great pride in his yard and loves to tinker outside with various projects to beautify the property. And, with both parents deceased, he holds great reverence for things that were once theirs.

When we were dating, hubby gave me some diamond earrings that he had made for me from a ring his father had earned during his sales career. And my engagement ring's main diamond comes from a pendant his mother had.

We had our wedding rings made to match with sapphires and diamonds. And he still wears the St. Christopher medal I gave him on our first Christmas together.

So, when I began losing weight I was extremely concerned about my wedding rings slipping off of my fingers. Not only were they incredibly special to me, but to hubby they were a symbol of our relationship.

I broached the subject carefully.

"Honey, my rings are loose. I'm so afraid I'm going to lose them."


"So, I've been thinking about some options to make sure that doesn't happen."

"You mean like not wearing them? Because I don't really care if you wear them or not. You know, if you don't want to look like you're married- that's okay with me. Because I know you are!"

(Okay. So far, so good... NOT. Change direction...)

"Well, of course I'm going to wear a wedding band. You know that's important to me. I hardly ever take them off."

"So, what, you want to upgrade? Buy a bigger diamond?"


"No... "

"So should we get your rings sized smaller?"

"Uhm... well, I'm worried that will cost a lot. And I don't know how they'll look since we had the two rings soldered together for my engagement ring."

"So what do you want to do?"

"I thought about taking the diamonds and sapphires out of the settings they are in and putting them in new settings???"

"Hmph," he said and walked away, thus effectively ending the conversation.

Later on that night he came to me and reopened the subject.

"Honey, I really don't care what you wear. Really. You could wear a cigar band. The ring doesn't really matter." Awwww...

A couple of weeks later my bff invited me to private showing at Tiffany's. (Yes, Tiffany's, with the little blue boxes of sheer georgeousness!) I went with the intentions of picking up a bobble just to have my very own blue box.

I knew Tiffany's was expensive going in. But those little "bobbles" were high! I found a silver bracelet with a single charm that I thought was just the thing I wanted. However, $365 was more than I was wanting to spend.

BFF and I had a blast wandering through the store, rubbing elbows with the elite and uber-rich. We even got to be "models" in a jewelry fashion show they put on in the store. They draped beautiful jewelry on us and let us twirl around while an announcer talked about the rings, necklaces and bracelets we had on. It was quite the grande event! (And, yes, that is "grand" WITH an "e" because it was costly enough to afford the extra letter!) I think I had about $36K worth of jewelry on while I did my twirls. BFF's necklace alone was $38K.

When we got done, BFF insisted we needed to buy something to commemorate the event, our friendship, my (cough) 40th birthday, and anything else that would convince me to buy something. So, we looked and looked and looked.

As they were locking up (Literally, we closed down Tiffany's! What a hoot!) we spied a couple of understated, elegant silver rings. She fell in love with a simple single circle that had the T & Co. engraved on the side. I was drawn to a ring that was actually two circles intertwined. It had the T & Co. engraving as well, but the other side was just a beautiful, shiny silver.

I tried it on. This ring had so many things going for it, I don't even know where to begin. First of all, it was within my budget. So, that was kind of a big deal. Secondly, it was beautiful, original, like nothing I had ever seen. It was simple, elegant and didn't overpower my hand. Thirdly, I needed a size 4 1/2 in it. That was the equivalent of telling me, "Those jeans are too big on you. I really think you need a size 2." Fourthly, it was from Tiffany's. (little blue box included) Finally, it looked like a wedding band to me.

"I'll take it," I breathed happily.

BFF and I were like a couple of giddy school girls with our new rings. We felt like we had the world by a string (a Tiffany's white ribbon string, attached to a little blue box).

I got home and strutted over to hubby to let him see my wonderful new purchase. (I had used Christmas money I had saved, so all was well on the budgetary front.) He looked at it and twirled it around on my finger, examining the T & Co. and the way the bands connected.

"Why are there two rings?"

"That's how they made them. Plus, I like that they look like interlocking wedding bands."


"What do you think?"

"Are you going to wear them as a wedding band?"

"Yes... I thought you were okay with whatever I wore."

"So, you aren't going to wear my mom's diamond or the wedding band I gave you?"

"I can. But I'm afraid I'll lose them. They are too big."

"So what are you going to do with them?"

"Keep them, of course."

"But not wear them?"

"Uhm, no?" (I thought we covered that??)



"Well, if you don't want to wear the rings we gave each other when we got married..."

"Okay. Stop. You said this was OK. Is it not?"

"No, it's fine," he said with that tone that said he was pouting.


"Okay. I'm going to get ready for bed," I said, and made my escape.

Later as we were climbing into bed I stopped him.

"Okay. Look. No kidding, no being silly, no holding back. Are you OK with me wearing this as a wedding band?"

"I am fine with whatever."

"You're sure?"




"Okay," I relaxed and snuggled down into the covers.

"You know," he said in the dark, "I was thinking of having my ring re-done, too."

"Really?" I asked skeptically.

"Yes. I mean if you aren't wearing your wedding band, maybe I could wear something new, too."

I rolled over to look at him in the dark. I could see him smirking at me.

"You are a snot," I said.

"Yes, but you love me anyway," he replied, kissing me on the nose.

So I am now proudly wearing my new wedding band from Tiffany's and I love it! My original rings are tucked safely away. Unlike some of hubby's furniture choices, I will hang on to those rings. First, they are very sentimental. His family and he are laced through them in a very special way. He gave them to me. And those were the rings that the minister blessed when we were married. Secondly, they are beautiful. They look wonderful on my hand and I love watching them sparkle in the light. Finally, while I don't plan on gaining any weight back to be able to have them fit, I may take hubby up on either resizing them or resetting the stones sometime later.

Whatever he or I wear- or don't wear- we're married. And I think that's what is the most important, wonderful, thing!


Jenny Girl said...

Congrats on your new (TIFFANY)ring:) Maybe you two could look at at as a "renewing' of the marriage vows or something?

We still have to look for something new for my husband bc he lost his out in the water on weekend. After, I ended up wearing both my engagement and wedding ring and my hubby was like "is this a guilt trip or something, why are you all of a sdudden wearing both rings?" I said, well, I figure I might as well wear both instead of letting one sit a box somewhere hidden away. He still thinks it's a guilt trip, it's really not. I just thought it'd be nice to wear both. Husbands always think we have some other motives behind EVERYTHING that we do. If we could, we'd just get finger mother and his mother would love that...NOT!

Jenny Girl said...

I should've proofed that first...I'm being lazy..oophs