Sunday, July 6, 2008


Hubby had to fly to Denver for a whole week today (sigh). So last night, neither of us slept well: we were too hot, too cold, snoring (hubby), not enough covers, dog up our butts, etc.

While I was drifting in and out of sleep, I was vaguely aware of hubby snoring. I considered this a huge step in the right direction, considering most of his snoring events could crack the house's foundation. He did wear a nasal strip that is supposed to "open the sinus cavity, allowing the air to flow more freely." Whatever. It seems to (sort of) work. So, I'm sold.

At 2:00 AM, hubby sat straight up in bed and hissed, "Did you hear that???"

"Uhm, no? I was asleep. What was it?"

"Someone knocked on our door downstairs."

"Huh??? Who would knock on our door at 2:00 AM?"

"Shhh!!! I don't know. Here, come with me," he directed.

And off we both went down the stairs to face unknown perils.

As my head began to clear, I looked over to check the front lock. It was secure.

Hubby had disappeared into the kitchen.

"Honey?" I called.

"Honey?" I tried again. "Who would knock on our door? Wouldn't they just call us? Or use the doorbell? That doesn't make any sense."

I rounded the corner to see hubby wielding the biggest knife we have in the butcher block.

"Whoa! What's that for?" I asked.

"Shhhhh! They could hear you."

"They? Who are they?"

"Whoever-knocked-on-the-door," he said through clenched teeth.

"Okay. Look, I want you to put the knife back."

"Why? What if we find someone?"

"We would be better served with a cell phone to call 911 than with that knife. The only thing that is going to happen with that knife is that I'm going to come around a corner, startle you, and you're going to stab me."

"Okay. Who do you think it was?"

"Honey. I really think it was left over fireworks, or the chain from the ceiling fan banging up against the lights, or, I don't know, just something else. But it just doesn't make any sense for someone to knock on our door. Even if it was an intruder, I've never heard of one who knocks to announce themselves before coming in. Can we please go back to bed?"

"Oh yeah, like I'm going to be able to sleep now."

"Well, we've checked all the locks. We have all the outside lights on. What else do you want to do?"

"I don't know," he said rubbing his hair around on his head. "I just know I can't sleep."

"Well, I'm pretty sure I can. Are you going to be okay if I go back up to bed?"

"Yeah, I'll come up, too," he said quickly.

The next thing I knew, my alarm was going off to get up for church. Hubby was in full-out snore. I'm surprised he didn't swallow his tongue.

I leaned up on an elbow and looked down at him. What happened to his nose strip? He was wearing it when we went to bed. Hmmm...

I got up and started getting ready. As I started changing out of my pajama shirt, I noticed I felt a band-aid on my upper arm. I didn't remember putting on a band-aid. I fiddled with it until I pulled it off.

It was the lost nose strip. Fat lot of good it did us on my arm.

We've both walked around like zombies today. But we've had a good day. We got to go horseback riding before we dropped him off to catch his plane.

We will miss him! Even his snoring! But I don't think I'll be chasing any imaginary intruders tonight. Nor will I wear his snore strip on any part of me. I'll just curl up in the bed and smell his pillows and dream away...

1 comment:

ThePrincessMommy said...

This is Hysterical! I love it.