Twilight at Barnes & Noble

When my youngest was much younger, we happened to go to dinner one night at Texas Road House, a local steak house. Andy the Aardvark is their mascot, for lack of a better term. And he spent the evening going around to the kids' tables and handing out Texas Road House Frisbees, cups and coloring books.

For Amy, Andy was love at first sight. She developed a mad crush on him as soon as he waddled up to the table in his huge foam cowboy hat. She was absolutely smitten.

When Andy left to join another table, she begged the waiter to have him come back. Naturally, the staff thought this was just too cute. So, they had Andy come back over. She wrote illegibly on a paper napkin and handed to Andy.

"Andy thanks you for this lovely picture," the manager translated to Amy.

"Oh, that's not a picture," Amy corrected. "That's my phone number."

As if that were not bad enough, my poor deluded child sat by the phone pining for days, certain that Andy would call her. I tried to reason with her: "Honey, he's a pretend character."

"No, Mommy. I saw him. I talked to him. He hugged me. He is NOT pretend. Why hasn't he called?"

It was a while before I could take her back to Texas Road House. First of all, I was concerned that Andy may have to take a restraining order out on his "biggest fan." Secondly, I could not knowingly contribute to my daughter's heartache like that.

When I was younger, I thought Speed Racer was soooo cute! (When they turned it into a movie with live actors, I was crushed.) I also thought Shawn Cassidy was so cute that I had him be my Barbie's boyfriend whenever I played.

As I got older, stars like Mark Harmon, Mario Lopez, Val Kilmer and even Tom Cruise (in his very early years) made me sigh when I saw them. But I don't think I ever developed such a fixation with anyone as my Amy did with Andy the Aardvark...

Until now...

A friend of mine told me about a book series about a vampire that was written for young women. The only word in that sentence that even seemed mildly appealing to me, was the word "book". I'm not a huge science fiction fan. And certainly monsters and gore don't do a lot for me. And, when I think of books for "young women," I think of "Little House on the Prairie," or other such classic titles. I couldn't imagine that I would want to spend any amount of time reading about vampires written for teen-agers and young adults.

Then my BFF and I decided to see what all the hoopla was about and made a road trip to Barnes & Noble. We purchased the book, "Twilight," by Stephenie Meyer, and she read it first. She was all aflutter when she reported back to me how wonderful it was. I was still doubtful.

I read "Twilight" in a matter of days. I couldn't put it down. The whole book was a race from beginning to end to see what was going to happen next. And the part that was the icing on the cake was the character of Edward.

Edward is a vampire. I don't think I'm giving anything away by giving you that detail. But it's important to understand that he is a fictional character in the most extreme sense of the word.

Yet, I, like Amy, would so "give him my phone number"! He's strong, handsome, infinitely considerate of Bella (his very human girlfriend), and he's immortal. Their love story is arguably as romantic as any ever written. They literally go against all odds and all common sense because they love each other.

My BFFand I rushed back to Barnes & Noble, giddy. We giggled and flipped through the next book, anxiously awaiting our next fix of Edward. I even got the third book in anticipation of the completion of the second.

We both holed up with our books and texted each other and/or called to find out where we were in the book, compare notes and swoon over our fictional vampire. I read the second book ("New Moon") in three days, and then the third book ("Eclipse") (over 600 pages) in only one day. Never have I been as disappointed for a book to be over. I wanted more love story. I wanted more Edward.

August 1st, the latest edition ("Breaking Dawn") of the series comes out. BFF and I plan to be at Barnes & Noble for the party, and in line at midnight to swoop up our very own copy.

We are trying to plan a Girl's Day August 2nd. Normally, Girl's Day would entail shopping and mani/pedi's. But August 2nd, we plan to hole up in a house together, with pizza, diet coke, red wine, chocolate and Edward. We have discussed what we think might transpire in this next edition, and what we hope the outcome will be.

We both fully realize that Edward could not be any less "real" if he tried. He's the "perfect" male: handsome, witty, considerate, charming, strong, rich, protective, communicative, and on and on. That alone pretty much disqualifies him as being a real person. But add to that the fact that he's an over 300-year-old vampire, living forever in a handsome, strong 17-year-old body- and well, there you have it: "the man that will never be."

Edward does have some qualities that I find in my dear hubby. Maybe not so much the rich part. Certainly not the vampire part. But there are many other real things that Edward and hubby share in common.

Hubby is definitely my most mad crush, and will be forever, for all the "real" men of the world. I sort of think that one of the reasons that Edward is so "perfect" is because there is no possibility of him ever being "real." Real life hardly ever turns out like fantasy- if you are lucky, it's even better.

But, that will not deter BFF and me from storming Barnes & Noble August 1st, giggling, swooning and sighing all the way to the check out lane. And it is not nearly a good enough excuse to cancel our August 2nd read-athon.

We have a "date" with Edward. And I do not want to let him down. I would imagine that making a vampire upset would be very dangerous. So, BFF and I will keep our "date" with our fabulously wonderful fictional vampire.

And I will try to take it easy on Amy if she develops a crush on Scooby Doo or Micky Mouse.