Vacation Record!

Eight-and-a-half hours. It was a record. We have never made it from home to Florida in eight-and-a-half hours, even though that is the amount of time it should actually take.

Several years ago when the children were much smaller, and one was even potty-training, it took us thirteen hours for the exact same drive. So, you can see, eight-and-a-half hours was quite an accomplishment for our family.

However... I was ready to rip out some one's eyeballs before we ever hit the state line leaving Tennessee. Why, you ask? Were the kids fighting? No. Was hubby being ugly? No. Then, what? What was it that made you want to jump out of a speeding mini-van?

Well, for starters, Amy... Well, really- that's it. Just Amy. God love her.

She has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder when she wants something. "Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy," she sings, getting louder and more shrieky with each passing moment. And NOTHING will deter her.

"Amy, you can have gum AFTER we get in the car."

"OK," she said without taking a breath, "NOW can I gum?"

ARRRRGGGGG!!!!!!

We had a knock-down-drag-out in the produce section of Wal-Mart. The looks I got plainly said, "Tsk, tsk. Poor girl. What a BAD mommy."

Would you like to know what we were fighting about? She wanted a plum that was bruised and I told her "no."

That was unacceptable to her. She wanted THAT plum. It didn't matter if it had bugs crawling out of it and it was on fire. She wanted THAT plum, and mommy was "mean" because she was withholding it from her.

OMG! Where is the open bar in Wal-Mart when you need it?????

There is no way to win this argument. If I finally relent and she gets the stupid bruised plum and eats it, she will be ill. Then I'm "mean" for not looking out for her. AND she's sick and cranky. If I don't let her get the plum, being a responsible parent, I'm "mean" for not letting her have her way.

Hubby was... less than helpful. His suggestion: "Get down to her level and look her in the eye. She'll listen to you."

"OK. Thanks. Since you've been around her two days out of the last thirty, I can see how you would be the expert." Would anyone notice me chugging down a case of beer in the peanuts and beer aisle???

I am SO glad and SO thankful to be on vacation! I have looked forward to this trip for 365 days. So, why can I not enjoy it???

Maybe some sleep tonight will help us all. At the very least, Amy and I are (figuratively) going to our separate corners to refresh before the next bell rings.

Of course, I will win. But I would like for us to get along and enjoy each other. I would like to be able to tuck her in at night, smile, kiss her cheek and go to bed and look forward to seeing her again the next day.

So, I guess I will try again tomorrow. And I will hope that I can find the "magic bullet" that will help her listen, hear, understand and react...

...Or at least a "magic pill" that will give me patience to wait for her to get there.