WALL-E is BOR-ING

WARNING: THIS IS A MOVIE "SPOILER." IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN "WALL-E," AND PLAN TO DO SO, DO NOT READ THIS BLOG ENTRY UNTIL AFTER THE FACT. THIS BLOG DETAILS THE PLOT AND THE END, AND WILL SPOIL THE MOVIE FOR YOU IF YOU HAVE NOT ALREADY SEEN IT.

We went to see "WALL-E," the newest Disney Pixar animated film this past Saturday. We went with high expectations, after seeing such wonderful films as, "Toy Story," "Monsters, Inc.," and "Finding Nemo."

The little robot, WALL-E, was quite engaging. The kids and I definitely enjoyed watching him as he rolled around the city, picking up trash and enjoying his special finds.

However, it was nearly 30 minutes into the movie before there was any dialogue. My kids gave up at about minute 12.

Then, it was not long afterwards that it was revealed that the human race had become so indulgent and slovenly that they made the earth uninhabitable and had to live on a space ship while robots, like WALL-E, were left behind for clean up detail. The ship was supposed to come back to earth in 100 years or so, once the earth was back to "clean."

However, 700 years later, the ship was still cruising the universe. The robots on board had slowly turned the humans into fat, round creatures, unable to walk, and disconnected from one another. The robots were in charge and smart. The humans were so fat and lazy, they didn't even know they were being manipulated. They didn't even eat food. All of the food was processed into drinkable shakes, which were slurped through straws by the obese, round, stupid people.

Finally, a robotic probe from the ship detected plant life on earth. The robotic probe, EVA, fell in robot love with WALL-E. They saved the humans, and they all lived happily ever after on earth.

OK. Right. Within the first 10 minutes, my friend and I looked at each other and said, "Is this underwritten by Al Gore?" and "OMG! This BETTER not end up like 'Happy Feet', (the movie about the Penguins with an environmental message)."

My kids, however, enjoyed it. At one point, WALL-E looks like he has "died" and his robot friend, EVA, works to bring him back. I looked over at my youngest, and she had fat tears streaming down her cheeks.

The kids all try to talk like WALL-E, with his synthesized, robotic voice and his chopped up, short sentences. They thought the fat humans were funny. And they thought the ending was happy.

I guess I am just far too cynical to not believe that Hollywood didn't have a huge agenda going when they made this movie. And I was completely offended that humans were portrayed as being so stupid as to have the entire race voluntarily subdued and fattened by computers. I was overwhelmed by apathy to the plight of the robots and the people, as I felt, if the movie line could ever be anywhere near reality, they had all made their own proverbial beds, and I really didn't care if they didn't want to lay in them anymore.

The humans did return to earth to start again, by the end of the movie. But if this were (again) anywhere near reality, I can't imagine that these sad, defenseless beached whales could really rehab the planet to be inhabitable before they perished from malnutrition and exposure to the elements.

The whole fantastical, fictional, finger-wagging lecture (a.k.a. movie) was offensive, and even worse (by Hollywood standards), BORING! It was only by watching my children (sort of) enjoy the movie, and by making snide remarks to my friend and my hubby that I was able to endure the whole thing.

I think in the weeks to come, I would be hard-pressed to have my children retain their enthusiasm for the film. I doubt it will be one that they ever even bring up again. It was simply a fun flick that was part of a friend's birthday party. They got to eat popcorn, candy and coke. And they had birthday cake and got goodie bags.

If they had seen the movie as a stand-alone event, I truly believe that they, too, would have become bored by the tedious lack of dialogue and/or meaningful physical actions to represent the story line.

The bright side: there was no nudity; there were no bad words; there was no bad situations. It was truly "G" Rated- Disney. Too bad the storyline couldn't deliver.

I guess every movie house is allowed a bomb every now and then. And I'm awfully glad we paid matinee prices to see this surprisingly, uncharacteristically boring Disney film.

My advise? Save your money. Watch "Kung Fu Panda" instead. Or wait until "Kit Kittredge, American Girl" is released next week. Or, go to Disney World in Florida to see the "real deal". After all, it is Summer...