Thursday, May 8, 2008

Have a Diet Coke & A Smile

OK- here's what I really need to know: If your liver can give out on you from drinking too much alcohol, what vital organ goes kaput from drinking too much caffeine? And, truly, this is a very valid question. As an official connoisseur of all things caffeine (coffee, soda, chocolate, energy drinks, etc.) I have had enough caffeine to make a lab rat freakin' glow.

When the doctor gives you a survey that asks how many sodas do you drink in a day, and the possible answers are: a) none; b) 1; c) 2 or more, I have to add my own line that says, "If I could figure out how to pump the stuff into my veins and bypass the middle man all together, I would." I have more than 2 diet cokes before lunch!

I'm waiting for a medical study that proves that too much diet coke makes your intestines swell, and that's why I can't lose weight. That might actually encourage me to cut back a little.

But right now, diet coke is one of my few vices. I don't drink alcohol much (I'm a light-weight). I don't smoke (stinky & couldn't afford it). I can't shop too much (have kids). And I can't have little flings on the side (way too tired!).

I somehow believe that since Diet Coke has the word "diet" in it, that drinking it should be adequate dieting behavior. No one ever heard of Exercise Chocolate or Weight Loss Lettuce. If they made that, I might actually be able to work out on a tread mill and get my daily fiber. But "Diet Coke" implies that I should not have to do anything other than drink this diet elixir in order to have a sleek, willowy physique.

I realize deep in my subconscious that it's all a load of bunk and that some marketing team is high-fiving themselves all over the place for getting the public to buy into it. But when I see the Diet Coke commercial with the guy who takes his shirt off, it makes me just that much more of a loyalist.

If they could figure out how to put vitamins & minerals into the stuff and make it into a meal replacement, I could probably live off of it. There's just something about the sweet, cold effervescence that bubbles down your throat...

Someday, I will drink more water- for the sake of my teeth (Have you ever seen the experiment of the tooth in the glass of coke? The tooth disappears...) and because water is much less costly (Back to part of the cigarette argument...). But for now, it is my morning, wake- up coffee, my afternoon tea, my choice of dinner beverage and a great snack in the middle of the day.

So, cheers to you! I raise my glass of Diet Coke & smile!

1 comment:

ThePrincessMommy said...

right back atcha sister! Diet Coke is my drug of choice. The second is red wine!!! LOL