Sunday, May 11, 2008

I Still Have "It"...

So I was walking through Wal-Mart at 10:00 PM on Sunday, Mother's Day evening. I walked past a young man, and I could feel him looking at me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his eyes travel down and back up- several times.

Part of me was a little alarmed: a strange man looking at me, oh my! But part of me thought: I still have it! Despite the 15 years of marriage, the 20th High School reunion, the three kids I have birthed and begun raising, the yoga pants & tee shirt I was wearing, and the fact that it was 10:00 PM on Mother's Day in Wal-Mart- I still have it!!!!

Why do we always look for that external validation of our self-worth? What is it that makes us feel so much better about ourselves if someone else thinks we're attractive?

In younger years, I would probably not have noticed this young man's glances. I was always looking for young, attractive boy's gazes. This young man did not particularly meet the dating criteria I had established for myself.

But these days, I am more appreciative of compliments from anyone who gives them to me. I'm not in the dating world, where compliments are handed out like candy on Halloween, in hopes of some kind of connection. I'm not in a job where physical attributes are judged closely.

I'm in a world of married couples and kids. Moms will compliment each other on shoes and kids. My family will tell me I look nice. And all of that feels very nice.

But there is still a certain charge that comes from a man that is obviously appreciative of your appearance. Never would I wish to be in that world where the next step is having to have some kind of conversation, like when we dated. And there is a certain kind of stare that can feel a little creepy. But "the look" still gives tingles.

As I tried to gauge the young man in Wal-mart through the corner of my eye, I noticed he kind of looked like he just got out of prison: he had on a ski cap, tattoos on his neck and exposed arms. He had baggy jeans that sagged to show the tops of his boxers, and he had a certain hitch in his step that said, "Yeah, I'm bad..."

His companions were a small, dirty child in the seat of the shopping cart, who had a snotty nose and was blowing snot bubbles, and a woman who looked like she put her finger in an electrical socket and then borrowed some little girl's clothing. Her muffin top rolled over the jeans, which barely contained her. The remainder of the day's make up was still too severe for her pale, round face.

My husband watched ex-prison mate #2584 undress me with his eyes, and then he smirked. When we walked out of ear-shot, I sidled up to him and grinned.

"I still got it," I said, giving him a small victory shake and curled upper lip.

"Oh, you mean that guy who looked at you?" he asked innocently.

"Yeah," I said. "I know he's not George Clooney, but he sure thought I was cute," I added smugly.

My husband cleared his throat and said, "I know what he was thinking."


Without batting an eye, my dear husband said, "He was thinking, 'Wow, the grandmas sure are hotter these days now that I'm out of prison."

I glared at him, punched him in the shoulder, and said flatly, "Thanks, honey. You always know just the thing to say to make me feel beautiful."

"Oh, honey. He wouldn't even know what to do with you!"

Is that supposed to make me feel better???

"Come on," he smiled, "let's go home and I'll make it up to you by giving you a back rub for the rest of your Mother's Day present."

OK. That's a little better.

I guess I'm going to have to tone down the sex appeal a little when I go to Wal-Mart from now on. I really didn't realize I had raised the bar so much by wearing clean clothing and a bra.

Now, if I can just get the same response from HOT guys- on the beach- while I'm wearing my bathing suit... Then I'll really feel good about myself!...

1 comment:

ThePrincessMommy said...

Honey, the HOT guys on the beach are checking you out. You just don't notice either because the sun is in your eyes or you've had too many maragaritas!!!

PS - do not forget dancing man who let you wear his hat!

Still have it? You never lost it!!!