New #1...

On April 26, 2008, I posted an entry titled "Did I Just Say That?" It talked about all the things we say as parents that we never really imagined we would say or that would need to be said.

I had compiled a sort of "Top 10" list, whose #1 was "Honey, why did you try to flush the cat down the toilet?" (Cat was fine, wet & mad.)

Since 4/26, the same child has bumped off the #1 on the list for a whole new quote.

My youngest, who now calls herself Amy (see "A Rose By Any Other Name"), "helped" me clean out my closet. Truth be told, she scavenged my cast-offs, scoring such treasures as old costume jewelry, half-empty bottles of perfume, a pink pair of fuzzy house slippers with black paw prints all over them, and some make up.

Amy is the kind of child who lives life out loud. She has no fear. She makes friends with ANYONE (read: whether they like it or not). She loves anything sparkly. And she loves to be loud.

She was delighted with all of her new-found "stuff," and immediately began decorating herself with all of her loot. Fuzzy slippers looked like pink clown shoes on her little feet. Bracelets, necklaces, clip-on earrings and anklets dripped off of her tiny frame. And she had a cloud of perfume (she tried on all of them at once) that hung almost visibly around her.

But nothing could have prepared me for her little face that had been assaulted with every bit of make up she had acquired. It almost took on a fine-art quality, what with all the bright colors and bold, hap-hazard strokes. Her snaggle-toothed smile was rimmed with a garish red that I couldn't imagine having ever owned. Multi-colored eye shadow became more of a war paint, streaked across her eye lids, forehead, cheeks, chin and down her nose. And eye liner made sweet little hearts on each rosy cheek.

She walked up to me, smiling, holding a pot of glittery shadow.

"Mommy, can I put this here?" she asked, pointing to her eyelids.

"Yes, honey."

"Mommy, can I put this here?" she asked, pointing to her cheeks.

While I couldn't see how she could fit anything else on her face, I answered, "Mmm hmm"

"Mommy," she continued smiling, "can I put it here?" She pointed to her hands.

"Well, yeah, I guess."

Her grin widened. "Can I put it here?" She pointed to her neck.

"Yes, honey," I said, tiring of our question-answer session.

"Mommy, can I put it in my underpants?"

WHAT???????

"NO!!!!!!!!" I said, a little too firmly.

"I didn't think so," she said.

"No, no, and no. Glitter eye shadow does NOT go in your underpants!"

"OK," she said, and walked away.

So, my new #1 is:

"Glitter eye shadow does NOT go in your underpants!"

I'd like to think that she will someday be a brilliant, up-standing young lady, who is adored by everyone who meets her. But, these kinds of incidents (which happen with way too much frequency for my comfort) make me worry.

My husband & I have always believed that she will never get caught following the wrong crowd. We've always been more concerned that she would be leading the wrong crowd.

But at least we'll be able to smell her perfume and see her sparkle from miles away...